The "Experience" Question

Dear Friends,

“The gravitational pull back to the sinful, destructive patters of our family of origin and culture is enormous.  A few of us live as if we were simply paying for the mistakes of our past.  For this reason God has called us to make this journey with companions in the faith.”  “We need trusted people in our lives of whom we can ask, “How do you experience me?  Tell me the feelings and thoughts you have when you are with me.  Please be honest with me.”  Prayerfully listening to their answers will go a long way toward healing and getting a perspective on the areas of our lives that need to be addressed.  Needless to say, this takes a lot of courage.” (Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, p.114)

One of my goals this year is to slowly work through Pete Scazzero’s excellent book, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality.  I have been doing so a few pages at a time for the last several weeks.  Just this week I read the above passage and was quite challenged.  These words come following a brief review of the life of Joseph – a man who emerged from a very broken family system and had every “right” to be consumed by bitterness, anger, and the need for revenge.

Needless to say, Joseph and I have little in common.  The “hand” life dealt me pales in comparison with what Joseph was forced to endure. Unfortunately, his responses to his awful experiences and my responses to my less difficult circumstances only serves to highlight the need I have to allow the Holy Spirit do new works of refining and reshaping in me.

The question, “How do you experience me?” is particularly haunting.  How did people experience Jesus?  With the exception of the religious elite who were constantly frustrated and angry with the power of His truthful words, the Lord would have most certainly been a force of grace, mercy, and unshakeable love to those with whom He interacted.  I seriously doubt that anyone void of a religious spirit would have walked away from the presence of Christ without being enriched in some significant way.

Back to me, (and possibly you if you’re relating to what I’m sharing): “How do people experience me?”  How do people feel when I’m with them?  Do they feel like they are a high priority?  Do they feel like their thoughts, opinions, and ideas are valued?  Do they sense my love and acceptance disconnected from the performance in life or helpfulness to me personally?  Additionally, do those closest to me (Susan, Becky, Garrett, Ethan, and Trent, the leaders at theBridge,) feel even more honored and esteemed the most?  I believe they should, but doubt they do.

I have pressed myself and the Leadership Team at theBridge in the last year to seek out and engage personal mentors.  I want us all to be vulnerable and teachable before a respected other or two who can have “free reign” to speak into our lives.  I stand by this priority and think that it is worthy of continued pursuit.  Yet in pondering “How do you experience me,” I sense there is real worth in asking those who may not, in the classical sense, qualify as mentors to share their gut-level impressions of our sincerity and Christlikeness.   In other words, my older (more mature) pastor mentor may speak powerfully into my life, but the candid perspectives of my 16 year-old daughter can be just as revealing and life-shaping – if I have the courage to both ask and listen to her.

How do people experience us?  Do I make others feel marginalized or insignificant?  Do you overlook the least of these?  Do we care more about polishing the outside of the cup than on making the inside clean?  Tough questions, no doubt, but in this day of rapidly decaying culture, the Bride of Jesus must be all she purports to be.  Her richness and purity start from the inside.  I’ll be posing the “experience” question to those closest to me in the next few days.  Why don’t you do the same?  Vulnerability is less threatening alone!

-Tim

Ephesians 3:20, 21

Comments

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Pastor Tim:

I won't post what I am feeling right now, nor will I email but do you have time for me to meet with you? I realize I am no longer a member of "the Bridge", but I do love you guys and I would rather speak to you face to face.